As everyone probably remembers, this past season’s ski conditions everywhere but the east coast were pretty crappy. Some places were downright miserable and even un-skiable in areas (I’m looking at you Oregon).

But if ski movies have taught us anything, it’s that there’s always powder somewhere. Turns out, sometimes that’s just not true or attainable. So what do you do when the snow is crap? You crank up your DIN to 21, find some skis with a lot of metal in them, and make this video. WARNING: Explicit content.